We ALL need space to reflect clearly (slowing down, staying honest, and asking if you're in alignment)
Over the past several months, a theme that keeps showing up in my work, in my conversations, and in my personal life has been the power of giving yourself space to reflect…not just as a productivity hack or trendy self-care tip, but as a true way of being honest with yourself.
It really struck me how powerful journaling, and more generally giving yourself a space to reflect, is as I spoke with my recent guest in the latest podcast episode with Frank Ivey. Frank’s story genuinely moved me because for him journaling wasn’t just a habit, it was a turning point for some core beliefs in his life. Creating a consistent space to reflect helped him get honest about feelings he hadn’t been able to name before. And from that honesty came something unexpected: a deeper sense of leadership that modeled for him and his family how to feel deeply, reflect and express these feelings, and then be present for each other.
Growing up I used to journal as a way to express what I wasn’t always able to or did not always feel like was safe to communicate. It became my simple act of sitting down with a journal consistently and release, without making it complicated and it wasn’t elaborate or fancy. It was more of brain dump of emotions and it just had to happen.
A note to myself (and maybe to you)
While I created space when I was in grade school to journal, it made me think of when I got busier in middle and high school and about how I was raised. I grew up highly scheduled with back-to-back events and always being “on.” And if I’m being honest, sometimes I still catch myself slipping into that pattern of filling every empty space of my schedule and rushing from one thing to the next. 🙃Also the irony isn’t lost on me that I counsel clients on this and empathetically offer that they give themselves grace since it’s a learning process, but sometimes I forget to give myself the same grace. But always a good time to take your own encouragement sometimes, amirite?😂
So, last year, I made a commitment to myself: to take one day off per month to rest and one day to focus solely on admin catch up. It sounds small, but taking that one day off in particular has become one of the most important things I do. It’s not so that I can recharge and then jump back in to be able to produce more, but rather for me to intentionally pause long enough to check-in with myself and ask myself if the pace at which I’m doing things, what I’m doing, and who I am connecting with is still aligned with my what I’m wanting for my relationships with family, friends, work, and life in general.
That question of “is what I am doing aligned with my values?” matters, especially for those of us who are entrepreneurs. When you care deeply about your work, passion can make busyness and achieving goals at any cost to yourself a slippery slope. You can stay so busy achieving the action items for your business that you stop checking whether those things still reflect your original vision and your values. I’m finding that creating intentional space for reflection creates the conditions for that check-in.
What I’m building around this
This idea of slowing down, creating space, and reflecting intentionally, is woven into everything I’m putting out in the world right now, including the FREE Communal Journaling events I host in partnership with lululemon and For the Culture coalition!🎉 The next one is this week on Friday, May 29th at 6:30pm. I’d love to see you there! And if you can’t make it, please share this link in your stories and communications with your friends and networks! I’d love for as many people as possible to benefit from this free hour of reflection while being in community.
And in case you’re unsure of what to expect, just want to tell you that I’ve witnessed something really beautiful happen in the room both times we’ve hosted this event. People who finally have space to reflect on things that have had on their mind for a while, new thoughts generated from the journal prompts I offer, people taking healthy risks to share in community and receiving validation, encouragement, and support back. And afterwards? People exchange contact information, they say I almost didn’t come because of traffic, but showed up anyway and I’m so glad I did, or they leave saying “Dana, I had no idea how much I needed this hour.” One participant told me she wished she could do it every single week! 💗
I loved hearing how people benefitted from this guided space and was encouraged of the potential for both deeper and intentional reflection and building community. And my response to wanting to do this every single week? You totally can! You don’t need a formal event to pull out a journal and give yourself fifteen minutes of honest space. BUT, there’s also something irreplaceable about doing this reflection alongside other people in community who are also trying to figure out how to live in alignment with their values. And at a time when loneliness is at an all-time high and people are trying to get back into more analog activities, this just hits differently than doing it alone.
That’s the difference between individual journaling and communal journaling…one helps you know yourself while the other reminds you you’re not alone in the work.🤎
Which brings me to retreats. Because sometimes a single afternoon or a once-a-month pause isn’t enough. Sometimes you need a longer exhale (like a few days!) and space to connect with yourself and others to step completely outside your routine and ask bigger questions. Not a vacation where you’re escaping the real world for a little bit, but an intentional time of rest and reconnection. With yourself. With others. With what actually matters to you.
That’s the spirit behind The Becoming Experience Retreat I’m co-hosting with Poised Wellness Retreats this fall. And it grows from the same belief: we all need more space to slow down, reflect, and come back to ourselves and witness our own becoming.
My hope is that wherever you find yourself to be right now, whether you’re running on fumes or just starting to feel the need to slow down, you’ll give yourself permission to pause long enough to hear what’s actually true for you.✨